Now, What possible reason, would I have to commit murder?
None. Not really.
So then why do you want to?
I'm not even sure I do.
So then why do you keep thinking about it?
Well, I guess it's a thrill seeking mental activity. I guess, I guess, murder would be a thrill.
I imagine the scene, as best I can. I stand straight up. My arm raised with a pistol in my hand. The shot has just been fired. Smoke twirls up from the barrel.
The victim, shot in the head, lies motionless on the ground. Aukwardly positioned.
And then I ask myself, how this would feel.
How would you feel, after shooting another human on the head, with a pistol, and no reason at all to do so?
I could imagine all the years of life I'd taken from that human, and feel bad about having taken them.
Or could I choose not to think about those years, and not fell bad about it?
I could think about what this person's loved ones will feel about death, and feel sorry for them.
But again I could choose not to think about such things, and so, not bother at all.
Maybe my subconcious, would give me bad dreams. Or a psychobomb could get installed in my brain, messing me up later on in life.
There is a moment in time, I guess, I hope, a lapse, between the moment of the actual murder, and the moment the body is discovered. I can be long, very long. Or It can be just seconds.
But during that time. During that lapse. Imagine, perceive, delight yourself in total and absolute calm.
What worries or preocupations could the deceased posibly have?
I can think of several. But from my perspective, it would all be perfectly calm.
I wonder if someone that wanted to die, would let me kill them? I'd have to be a stranger. I couldn't bare doing that to someone I know.

And I'm sure that would be a very interesting a thrilling conversation to have with a stranger.

It sounds like I'm convincing my self. Doesn't it? Giving me permition, rationalizing the action. Doesn't it?
I'm aware it's illegal.
I think I know why it's illegal. After all, when you kill a human, Other humans either raise hell, look for revenge, or do their best to let you know they disagree with you actions.